I need you, You need me
by juxtaposed92
Summary: Bella finds herself in a new school, with people leading her down the wrong path. In the end will paul be able to save bella from herself? Warning: swearing,drugs,sex
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One_

I glowered out the window as Renee drove past the roads of battered and broken houses. It wasn't her fault- I knew that- but it didn't make the situation any easier. Moving to a new school was tough, but moving to a school that was well known for its bad reputation, well that was even worse.

"It'll be ok, Bella," Renee said. I shot her a look, I couldn't help it. I didn't fit in at my first school in Jacksonville, as I was extremely pale after living the past 16 years of my life in Forks, the rainiest place in America. If it wasn't for Renee begging me to come live with her so I could finish my final high school years in Jacksonville, with her and her new boyfriend Mark, I would still be living with my father in Forks. Sometimes I wish I still was living in Forks, but then I would feel guilty. It wasn't Renee's fault. It wasn't anyone's. Not even the old couple that hit Mark, the day after he proposed to Renee.

What happens is meant to happen, Renee always told me. I wasn't so sure if she believed it herself, but I think that it helped her cope with the loss of Mark. I mean if it was his time to die, it was his time. There was nothing that could have stopped it. That's how Renee see's it anyway. Me? I'm not so sure that I buy that stuff.

"You just have to make it through the year, after that you'll be going off to college."

I looked away from her. I wouldn't be going to college after this year. Renee wouldn't be able to afford it her being on Kindergarten salaries, and there's no way I would ask Charlie to help me pay for it.

Renee stopped the car. We were here.

"Just please try, Bella. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but-"

"I'll see you later," I said, cutting her off. I got out the car quickly and walked towards the small building. It looked worse in person then it in the photographs I'd seen. Someone had covered the front of the school wall in graffiti. I sighed resigned. This was my school for the year; I was just going to have to survive somehow. I walked into the front office, unsure of where I was supposed to go to pick up my timetable. One of the windows on the doors was smashed. Another was graffited with the words Mr. P is a dirty pervert. I swallowed as I stepped inside.

I walked up to a young girl, sitting at the only desk in the small office. She blew a bubble with her gum and carried on filing her nails. I shifted uncomfortably and cleared my throat. She let out a loud sigh, as if I was interrupting something important.

"May I help you?" She asked like she was granting me a huge favour.

"Um, my names Bella Swan-"

"Well that's fantastic. Anything else?" She asked.

"I'm a new student here."

She looked at me and lifted her shoulders as if to say 'and...'

"I was wondering where to pick up my timetable."

She stared at me for a few seconds. "You don't."

"Don't what?" I asked. She looked at me like I was dense.

"Pick up a timetable. There are only four actual classrooms in this building. You get assigned a teacher and stay in the teacher's room for your lessons. Any questions?"

"When do I get assigned a teacher?"

She sighed and set her file down. "Look, I don't know how they work it here. I'm only here to answer the phone. Capiche?" I nodded and walked through a set of double doors, which lead to the classrooms if the sign was any indication.

No-one was here yet, not that I expected people to be on time at all. But the teachers weren't here yet either, surely they should be by now? School was supposed to start in half an hour.

I sat down in a corner of the corridor and pulled out my new book. It was listed on the school books in the package that the school sent out.

Something hit my legs. A woman tripped, but luckily didn't fall.

She swore. I blushed as I quickly stood up, trying to keep a hold of my bag and my book.

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

"Idiot child," the woman snarled. "What did I give you a detention that you didn't deserve?" She sneered. I stood shocked. She smoothed her cropped blonde hair and straightened her glasses, before looking at me with a glare.

"I'm sorry," I choked. "I'm new here, my names Bella Swan."

She sent me another icy glare over her shoulder as she walked off. "I don't care what your name is, idiot child. They're all the same here. I don't have time to babysit you. Mr. Harris will do that, no doubt. You better hope you don't run across me again, child."

She opened a classroom door and slammed it behind her as I secretly hoped that I wouldn't be put in her class. I collapsed against the wall and sat back down on the floor, this time sweeping my feet in so I didn't trip anyone else up. I sniffed and fought back tears. _It's so unfair, this wouldn't have happened in my old school, or my school back in Jacksonville. But it all came back to the same thing... if Mark hadn't died everything would have been different. _

"Excuse me?" A male voice said. I quickly brushed my fingers underneath my eyes, making sure the traitor tears hadn't fallen from my eyes. That's all I needed on my first day, to be known as a cry baby.

A man was bending down on the floor near me. His face was pulled into a kind expression, his lips turned up into a slight smile. "I'm Mr Harris. Can I help you?"

"Mr Harris?" I asked. He nodded his smile widening.

"I'm a new student here. My names –"

"Isabella Swan," he said nodding. "We've been looking forward to welcoming you to the school."

I thought back to the receptionist and the teacher, somehow I seriously doubted it.

"Do you know where I'm supposed to get assigned a classroom?"

"I do, but there's no need. I'm your teacher for the remainder of the year."

Some of the tension left my body. At least I had a reasonable teacher.

He stood up. "I'll show you to your classroom."

I stood up and followed him down the corridor, and to the left. His classroom was just before a dead end. He opened the door and gestured for me to go ahead of him. The classroom was smaller than I expected only holding twenty chairs and desks.

He gestured to the seat at the far end. "It would be a good idea to sit back there. The rest of the students already have a seating chart. I'm sure Zoe won't mind you sitting next to her."

I walked to the back of the room, sincerely hoping that Zoe didn't mind.

As it went Zoe _did _mind me sitting next to her. "What's this pale chick doing sitting in my seat?" Zoe grunted. She was a big girl, about three times as big as me. She looked butch as she clenched her fists. "Be nice, Zoe. This is Bella Swan, and she's new here," Mr Harris said as he passed out some worksheets.

Zoe grunted and dragged the chair out from beside me. I tried not to stare at her as she pulled out a milkshake and started to slurp it through a straw, spilling some on the table. A couple of guys in the other side of Zoe started to guffaw. Zoe calmly stuck her middle finger at them, making them laugh harder. I thought I saw Zoe turn a bright shade of pink, the only sign that they were getting to her. She turned to me. Taking the straw out of her mouth, she sneered, "What the fuck you staring at Swan?"

I swallowed, blushed and turned away. A fresh wave of laughter from the boys erupted.

The first two lessons dragged on and on. I could feel the hostile glare from Zoe all through the first 3 hours. Mr Harris stood at the front of the talking and writing his way through the maths and science lessons, never leaving his place from the front apart from when students needed help with their worksheets. That was the worst part. Whenever this happened, I would have to endure Zoe trying to entice me to fight her back, and the boys would watch on laughing and hissing 'Swan, Swan, Swan' before bursting out laughing all over again.

By the time break came I was ready to break down in tears. And I almost did. _Just get through lunch _I chanted over and over in my head. I followed the tide to the canteen and grabbed a tray along with everyone else.

It wasn't until a black converse stuck out that I tripped up, my arms flinging out blindly to try and grab something to hold onto. My hands found material and I clutched on, trying to break my fall. I heard a shriek and sharp nails dug into my hands, making me lose my grip. I landed awkwardly on the floor.

"That was my shirt bitch!" The voice said. I got up, nervously, brushing my jeans down. Her face was pulled into a glare and I wildly thought of a bull, thinking that if it was possible for steam to be blowing from her pierced nostrils it probably would be.

"Brian!" She shrieked. The boy in front of her looked back. He turned around and stepped towards her, whispering something in her ear. She nodded her head towards me. My heart beat quickly as he looked at me taking a step forward.

"Fuck off Brian, unless you want a black eye to go with your broken nose," a voice said behind me. Brian scowled as did his girlfriend. But he walked away. His girlfriend took his hand and looked back to glare and flip me off. I blushed and looked at my shoes.

"You ok?" I looked up at a pretty face. The girl had a slight dusting of freckles on her cheeks. Her brown eyes were outlined by thick mascara and thick eyeliner. She smiled showing her white straight teeth. I nodded embarrassed. She laughed gently. "I wouldn't take Beth seriously. Her bark is worse than her bite and she just likes to show off." I smiled weakly as the girl pulled my arm so we walked back through the canteen doors and into the empty corridors. It was silence. I was trying to slow my beating heart, begging myself to wait until I got home before bursting into the tears I desperately wanted to shed. It was like my own personal nightmare here.

We walked back into the classroom and I sat down at my desk. To my surprise the girl followed me to my desk.

"Why did you stick up for me like that?" I asked. She shrugged, sitting on the desk next to me. Zoe's desk. "Us girls have to look out for each other."

"Thanks," I mumbled. She waved it off. "Don't mention it." She hesitated. "I'm Soph by the way."

"Bella," I said to her. She nodded. "I know, I heard Zoe this morning." Some kids came in laughing and joking from lunch. Had it been half an hour already?

"I'll see you around Bella." She jumped off the desk and skipped towards a guy and a girl. They both smiled as she approached. Soph sat down on the edge of their desks. The guy glanced at me from the corner of his eye. Soph shrugged and I ducked my head, not wanting to be seen staring at them. But I couldn't help but wonder what they were saying about me. I knew it was to be expected, me being so different from them, but my cheeks turned red and my heart sped at the thought.

Everyone stared at me as they slowly filed into the classroom. Not that I could blame them, I mean if I was them I would be staring at me to. I'd probably made a spectacle of myself in the canteen and it didn't help that I was extremely pale and therefore more recognisable.

The last two lessons were almost unbearable. I watched the clock's hands ticking by slowly, counting down the minutes until I could leave this hellhole. I ran out the class as soon as the bell rang, feeling everyone's eyes on me, I could hear the buzz of laughter that followed me all the way out into the car park. I got into the old car Renee had to buy, because she had to sell her other car. I shut the door firmly behind me, like I could shut out everything that had happened today.

"Good day at school?" Renee asked.

I looked at her for a few seconds before smiling at her. "It was fine."

I could see the relief on her face and I was glad for the first time in my life that I had lied to her.

"Made any new friends?" She asked. I could hear the anxiety in her voice. She was desperate for me to fit in at this school. I didn't say anything. She patted my hand. "Never mind. I'm sure you will soon enough."

I couldn't sleep that night. The same words kept playing in my head over and over. _Lives change all the time, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. _This definitely had to be a change for the worst. 


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all I would like to say a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, it really meant a lot and helped me get through rewriting this chapter for the 10th time! Also a huge thanks to the few people that actually sent me messages saying that I needed to continue writing. Sorry I didn't reply to the reviews or the messages, I was having problems doing so. **

**Some of you asked some questions and here are the answers:**

**- Renee made her go to that school simply because when her fiance Mark died in a car crash she didn't have enough money to keep the house they were living in, bearing in mind that Renee is only on a nursery (kindergarten) salary. Her and Bella had to move to a smaller, cheaper house and it just so happens that this was the nearest school to her. **

**-Bella won't be meeting Paul til chapter 7 I'm afraid. I hope that you'll stick by me til then. **

**- Bella is living in Jacksonville at the present time. She used to live in Forks with Charlie until she was 16 and Renee asked her to finish high school in Jacksonville. **

**If you guys have anymore questions please feel free to ask, either in a review, or PM me. I'll be able to respond to reviews and messages now. **

* * *

><p><em>Chapter two<em>

BANG!

I jolted awake, glancing around sleepily. Hearing the front door close I got out of bed quickly and rushed to the door. I opened it as Renee started to walk back up the cracked steps that led to the front door. She was already dressed in black trousers and a blue polo shirt- her kindergarten uniform.

"What happened?" I asked as she closed the door behind her.

She sighed. "Mrs Wind's son tried to break in again. I'll have to write a statement later."

"Is she alright?"

Renee nodded. "She's just shaken up." I nodded. It was understandable after all.

It was strange living in this neighbourhood, where a crime took place frequently right on your doorstep. We quickly learnt after moving here to keep to ourselves.

Our neighbours were alright. Mrs Wind was friendly enough when you ran into her on the odd occasion. The only problem was her son. And then there were the Johnsons, who left you alone so long as you left them alone.

Renee glanced up from packing her bag. "You better get ready," she said, after seeing me still dressed in my old sweats and my long sleeved black t-shirt.

Reluctantly I went back into my room. I picked out jeans, a white top and a plain dark grey jacket, being it the best way to blend it. I had quickly noticed that all the students wore simple clothes. Nothing flashy. Nothing designer.

I quickly ran a brush through my tangled hair and touched the dark bags underneath my eyes, the evidence of my lack of sleep.

I quickly pulled on my shoes, grabbed my bag and forgoing any breakfast as my stomach was already twisting at the thought of school, I walked out to the car where Renee was already waiting.

The journey was spent in a awkward silence. Renee didn't bother telling me it was all going to be alright. I think she realised it was pointless.

She pulled up at the school. I said my goodbyes and got out quickly. The school was buzzing with silence. It was peaceful and it gave me a chance to prepare myself for the day ahead of me. I walked down to my classroom. Deciding against sitting in the hallway again, I tried the doorhandle. It went down.

I sat down in my seat. No one else was here yet. I looked around, trying to get familiar with the surroundings. But I doubted that being familiar with my surroundings would make me feel any more comfortable, any more a part of the student body.

I jumped when someone slammed the door open, grimacing when I realised that it was the teacher from yesterday. She glared at me. I felt myself blushing a deep red.

"Er, the door was already open. I thought that it would be ok to sit inside to wait..."

"I don't care what you do, idiot child."

She dumped something on the desk. "I only hope you idiots can learn more from this then what my class did."

She walked out. I waited until I could no longer hear her heels clacking against the floor, before breathing a sigh of relief. It could have been a whole lot worse.

I jumped again when the door opened thinking that maybe she had come back for some reason. My mind wildly thought of the incident yesterday- maybe she wanted to give me a detention? Did they even do that here?

My heart beat calmed somewhat when I realised it was Mr Harris.

"Ah, Isabella. Here already?"

"I hope you don't mind sir, I thought it would be ok to sit in here until class."

He smiled. It was a nice change from the glares and sneers people gave me here.

"Not at all."

He noticed the rectangular object on his desk. "Ms Barker left the video for us. Excellent. I hope you like Science, Isabella." I picked up slightly at that. Maybe we would get to do experiments? It would be good to be able to do _something _that was easy and familiar to me.

"I was in an advanced class in my other school," I told him.

He nodded smiling. "Well I'm afraid our programmes won't be nearly as good, but I hope you like it all the same. It's such a change from the usual teaching; most students find it almost enjoyable."

I smiled politely at his joke.

Students began to trickle in slowly, usually in packs of 3 or 4. Zoe came in on her own. She scowled as soon as she saw me. I looked down at the table, my eyes going over and over the different names students had carved into the desk and the different things they had written (_Bored, Class '08, Boris is HOT!). _She sat down, pulled out a smoothie and proceeded to slurp it through a straw like yesterday. And like yesterday two boys were watching her, waiting for her to do something they could laugh at.

My eyes flickered over to where Soph sat on more than one occasion, against my will. She was the first person here to actually speak to me without sneering or calling me a name. Disappointment washed through me when her seat remained empty.

As Mr Harris clapped to draw the class's attention I soon came to realise that science was going to be completely different to the lessons in Phoenix. Instead of actually conducting the experiments ourselves, we had to watch a old video of a small group of students carrying out the experiments, while we had to fill in a worksheet on it as it went along. Although it did make it less interesting, it was probably for the best. The thought of doing experiments with Zoe was honestly a little frightening. It was definitely safer, even if it was more boring, to watch the experiments on the small screen.

It was to my surprise when Mr Harris put down the chalk he was using to write on the black board with, brushed the chalk off his hands and announced that it was time for our next lesson. Gym. I looked around anxiously, the woman at reception had told me that there was only 4 classrooms. He couldn't possibly be thinking of doing gym in _here? _

No one else was surprised by the announcement, although most of the class did grumble as they stood up, moving towards the classroom door.

"Wait in the corridor please!" Mr Harris shouted over the babbling.

I was the last to leave, besides Mr Harris. He locked his classroom door and pushed through the crowd of students until he was at the front. "Follow me guys!" He shouted. The crowd followed him, with me tagging on the end.

I was surprised and confused when I followed them outside, the warm wind blowing my hair away from my face. We trekked across grass, wet from the rain the night before, making mud cling to my shoes. I followed them around the back of the school building, exposing a small building that wasn't visible from the entrance to the school.

A man was waiting to the side of the small building. He had thick grey, messy hair. The uneven ends flipped up at the bottom in the classic 70's style. He was wearing mid thigh black shorts and a tight red top that emphasised his round belly.

"Ok guys, I'll see you after lunch," Mr Harris said, walking away. The man in front blew his whistle, getting everyone's attention.

"Wonder what the pervert will get us to do today," whispered a tanned, black haired girl, standing diagonally from me. Her friend grimaced. "Nothing could be as bad as last week."

"Come and collect your uniform when I call your name," the man said.

He started calling people forward. I watched as they walked off behind the small building, taking note of where to go.

Slowly the crowd of students got smaller and smaller.

"Isabella Swan," he called. I stepped forward and took the uniform he had pulled out from a large green box placed at his feet. I realised that the bundle was made up of black shorts and a purple polo shirt. I set off uncertainly in the direction everyone else seemed to go in. There was a even smaller building, about the size of three large shed's put together, behing the small building. There were two doors. I veered towards the one to the right, following the sound of voices. I placed my hand on the cold wood hoping it was the right one. I almost sighed in relief. Girls were chatting away in their small groups, changing into their uniforms. The tanned black haired girl looked at me, and then nudged her friend. I blushed but tried to ignore it as I walked in, looking for a vacant spot to get changed. I tried not to pay attention to the whispers, even as they followed me past the rows of clothes hooks, and walked quickly to the first vacant spot I could see. My eyes burned red.

I got dressed as quickly as I could, aware of the eyes that were on me as I did so. The purple polo shirt was baggy and unflattering on my slim form, the shorts shorter then what I was comfortable with.

Suddenly there were two bangs on the door and the whole changing room feel silent for the briefest second before people's voices picked up again.

I followed everyone outside and into the small building. I scrunched up my noise at the faint smell of dirtiness and sweat. People were lining up as they walked into the hall. They were being put into teams. The lined thinned quickly, as the two groups grew. I could see the team leaders, who were standing apart from their teams, looking over me apprehensively. The boy in front of me was directed off to the left, me to the right. The team leader pulled a face as I walked over. I sighed and felt tears prick my eyes. I wouldn't even win my team over. I sucked at gym; I always had even in Forks, where Mike always made up for my clumsiness in our team.

The teacher blew the whistle again. "Ok, you know the rules to dodgeball. No aiming above the waist. That means you Beth, Brian," he said, giving a stern glance over to the couple on the opposite team. My heart quickened. I looked over and saw Beth and Brian whispering furiously. My heart sank as Beth looked my way. She said something to Brian, making him look at me. When did they get here? I didn't see Beth in the changing rooms.

I had a bad feeling when the teacher started to throw the small pink balls to five members of each team. He moved out the way, to the entrance of the hall and blew his whistle. Instantly the balls flew through the air, hitting several people in the face. Clearly nobody paid attention to the 'below the waist' rule. I rushed to the back, wanting to be out the way as much as possible.

THWACK. I staggered back as the ball smacked into my head. I didn't have to look to know who had thrown it. Brian. I winced as the side of my face began to throb. Judging by the raucous laughter my face looked as bad as I imagined.

"Kaiser!" The teacher bellowed. "Sorry Mr Peepers, I guess I aimed too high," Brian shouted.

"Swan," Mr Peepers shouted. I looked over at him. He was jogging over to me, trying to avoid the flying balls.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded. I touched the side of my face and tried hard not to wince at the painful tingling.

"Go sit this game out," he nodded over to the benches lining the back of the hall. I walked over, swerving in and out of people's way. I sat down feeling tears prick at the edge of my eyes.

I shrank back as I saw Beth's eyes narrow at me. Her face twisted into a mask of hatred. I wondered what I had done to make her hate me that much. She marched towards me. I noticed how people holding the balls didn't dare throw them until she was out of the firing zone. I pressed myself against the wall as she approached. She stopped inches away from me.

"You started to spread that fucking rumour bitch?" She hissed.

"What rumour?" I whispered. Dread filled the pit of my stomach.

She sneered. "Don't pretend you don't know what the fuck I'm on about."

"Beth!" Mr Peepers shouted, waving his arm extravagantly. She didn't even so much as glance his way. Her eyes stayed focused on me as she raised her hand. I shrank further back aware of the solid brick wall behind me. She smirked slightly. "Watch yourself Swan." She leaned in close, like she was about to tell a secret. "You're gonna get it."

With a glare she left me feeling shaky. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I was going to have to avoid her at all costs.

* * *

><p>The next few days blurred into the same horrifying nightmare. Every day I would wake up, go to school filled with dread, hoping that I wouldn't run into Beth or Brian, who had also made Beth's threat clear to me, as if I hadn't understood it before. Rumours spiralled about me and Beth and the school was buzzing in anticipation of the fight that was supposed to happen between us. I had even gone as far as to take to spending lunch time in the classroom on the pretence of catching up with work, when in reality I was avoiding Beth. The thing that improved my mood was the return of Soph, the only person in the school that actually genuinely seemed to want to be my friend. It made me hope that while we would probably never be good friends, I would at least have one person that wouldn't make me feel like a outsider. Only Soph seemed to be thinking along the same lines of everyone else.<p>

"We need a good fight," she said after she had heard the rumours. "There hasn't been one in a while, not since a certain someone tried to take the bitch on."

It immediately spiked my curiosity. "Who?" I asked urgently. Soph shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Nothing good happened. It was most disappointing."

I snorted. "I'm sure it was."

And although Soph's attitude didn't make me feel any better, she had kind of become my shield to life at the school. People wouldn't say anything to me if Soph was around me.

* * *

><p>It was Friday morning when Soph approached my desk. She looked happier then I had seen her before. Her face morphed into a sombre mask as she approached my desk. "I've heard today's the day."<p>

I stared at her. She rolled her eyes. "The fight between you and Beth!" She exclaimed.

I felt like there was a weight pushing down my stomach. "I-I don't fight."

Her expression turned serious. "Bella, you need to do this or she'll never leave you alone."

I sighed, "Maybe if-"

She shook her head her brown eyes serious. "If she thinks she can push you around she won't stop."

She tilted her head, studying me for a moment. "Okay, since I'm you're only friend in this place I guess it's up to me to give you a few pointers. First of all, as soon as she raises her fists, duck. Second of all, you're going to need some good comebacks, nothing simple fazes her and I guessing you don't have any?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, Beth has serious father issues. He left her and her mom when she was a child. Use that information wisely.

"And lastly-"

A loud cough interrupted her. She frowned and glanced at Zoe who was coming the desk. Zoe glared at her with pure hatred. Soph didn't seem fazed.

"I'll see you later Bella."

"Yeah, see you," I whispered. I watched as Zoe got out her smoothie. Her face was rigid with anger. I was surprised when she turned to me. "You're going to fight Beth," she stated. She looked over me as I swallowed her words. It was almost like she was trying to make me out before she snorted and turned back to the front, coming to the obvious conclusion that I wasn't a threat. Not at all. Pity Beth didn't see me that way.

Time seemed to speed up as we whizzed through another science experiment video, through algebra and then through a hour of analyzing the poem Havisham, by Carol Ann Duffy.

It wasn't long before the class was dismissed for lunch. I hung back, like usual, only Soph bounced towards my table. "Come on, we're going to lunch."

I shook my head. "I'm going to stay here."

"You think I don't know why? You can't avoid her forever Bella. Best get it out the way now."

I sighed. She was right. I followed her reluctantly to the class door.

"Oh, are you not staying?" Mr Harris asked. Soph smiled. "Sorry, sir." He smiled and shook his head. "Off you go." he waved us off.

I felt as if every eye was on me as I walked into the canteen. Soph took me straight to a table near the back. Two people were already sitting there. A boy and a girl. We sat down. "Guys this is Bella. Bella this is Mitch and Stacy. They looked at me, before looking at Soph. I felt hot in the face as I looked down at my packed lunch. They didn't really speak much, and I had the feeling that it was because I was there, but Soph didn't seem to care. She took care of the conversation as I picked at my lunch. I tried not to look around for Beth, I knew it wouldn't help me to know where she was. If she wanted to find me, she would. Sighing, I screwed up my trash. I got up from the table. "I've got to go, there's something I need to do before next lesson."

Soph nodded and waved goodbye. I threw my trash in the bin and hurried to the classroom as fast as I could.

Which wasn't fast enough.

"It's a pity no one's here to witness this," Beth sneered. I turned around.

"Look Beth, I never meant to fall into you. It was an accident. I'm sorry."

She snorted. "Like I give a shit. You're nothing in this school, Swan. No one cares about you, but somehow you managed to spread that rumour and now I need to put you back in your place. You're a loser Swan, a worthless loser."

I felt anger surge through me. Now that I was standing in front of her in the situation I felt reckless instead of scared like I knew I should.

I did my best attempt at sneering. "At least _my _dad wants me."

I knew as soon as I said it that it was a huge mistake. Her features screwed up and she raised her arm, pulling her fist back before launching it at my face. Red-hot pain exploded underneath my eye. She stormed off, heels clacking against the floor as she went. Her bark is worse than her bite my ass. I fingered the underneath of my eye tentatively, flinching when it seared with pain. It was going to leave one hell of a bruise.

I went to the nurse. She tutted at me and gave me a bag of broken bits of ice. I didn't bother to explain that I wasn't in a fight like she thought, that I wasn't the fighting type. They all thought the same of you here.

"Ouch, that looks like it hurts," Soph said as she approached my desk at the end of the day.

"I thought you said her bark is worse then her bite?" I hissed. She raised her eyebrows. "Trust me honey, compared to the other people in this shithole of a school, that is totally true."

I eyed the other people in the class, my eyes landing on Zoe's butcher form and on a boy sitting at the front with bulging muscles. She was right. But that didn't stop the pain.

"Ok bitch, I'm throwing a party tonight. My house. You better be there," Soph said as I packed away my belongings. I shifted uneasily, putting my bag on my back. I had never really been invited to parties before, not making friends with anyone in my previous school in Jacksonville, and being too young when I was living in Forks for my friends to throw parties without parental supervision.

"Bella it won't kill you to socialise a little."

"I socialise," I said stung. Well, I used to anyway. She rolled her eyes. "Name one person you speak to, apart from me."

"Liam? I spoke to him before in gym," I said slightly smug.

"Loser Liam? _You _talk to _Loser Liam?_" I frowned at her.

"Ok, that's it. You are definitely coming tonight even if I have to drag you myself."

"I don't have a way of getting to yours."

She waved her hand. "I'll get Begs to pick you up."

I smiled as she walked off. Maybe I would be able to make friends here after all.

My happiness was short lived however when I saw Renee's expression in the car when she noticed my eye.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I have to admit it. I hate this chapter (which is probably why I rewrote it 10 times).<strong>

**Anyway I'd really appreciate your opinion on it. If you guys hate it to, i'll rewrite it. **

**Chapter 3 is already 75% done, so depending on the feedback I should be able to update by the end of the week. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts etc.**

* * *

><p>Four hours later I was standing in front of the mirror nervously plucking at my top for the hundredth time. I had tried to make an effort, but not really knowing what people would be wearing, I struggled to find something to wear. I had to settle for jeans and a nice top. Not being experienced in hair and make-up really set me back as well. In the end I had just decided to keep my hair down and wavy like it usually was and I just swiped a little mascara on my top lashes, trying to ignore the shiny black bruise surfacing underneath my eye. That was the only thing I had to worry about, I was lucky that I had nice, clear skin so I didn't need much make-up.<p>

"You look nice," Renee said as I walked into the living room. She had freaked when she saw the bruise forming underneath my eye but after I assured her it was my fault- I was accident prone after all- she let it go, and I seized the opportunity to tell her about being invited to the party. All intentions of returning to the topic of my eye went out the window then. She was just estastic that I was finally making friends like a normal kid.

"Thanks," I replied, straightening out my shirt again.

There was a beep from outside. "I guess my rides here," I muttered, feeling nervous again.

Renee hugged me. "Have fun," she said, pulling away smiling. I knew she was finally happy that I was fitting in somewhere. I smiled at her.

I grabbed my jacket and walked outside. There was a silver car parked on the edge. A guy was sitting inside. It must be... Begs? I opened the door and got in. The guy was lean and looked tall. He had dark brown hair that fell just to his shoulders. His bangs hovered in front of his eyes so he had to keep brushing them away. So this was Begs. I was sure I had seen him around with Soph. He had a wide grin. "So, you must be the infamous Bella, Soph keeps rambling on about."

I blushed, looking down. "You must be... Begs?" I asked hesitantly. He groaned. I raised my eyebrow in question.

"She hasn't told you the story behind that has she?"

I shook my head. He sighed. "At least she's honoured one side of our agreement."

I was surprised when he drove away from the streets filled with damaged and broken houses.

"That is one hell of a shiner," he said. I grimaced. "Bet it stung like a bitch too," he grinned. I nodded.

He turned down a street filled with bigger houses then the ones we passed, they were almost the size of a small mansion. Music was blaring from one of the houses, with a Victorian design. He pulled up into the driveway. "Thank god her parents leave every weekend," Begs said as he got out the car. I followed him up the path and into the house.

"Yo! Soph!" Begs shouted as he closed the front door.

"Yeah?" She asked, rounding a corner into the hallway.

"You're supposed to honour our agreement. By rights, I should get to tell Bella something embarrassing about you," Begs said, playfully. Soph gasped. "You dare Jones!" Begs looked at me grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Bella, did you know that in the 8th grade, our sweet innocent little Soph here-"

"That's it Jones!" Soph yelled running towards Begs with a tea towel in her hand. She whipped it at his back and butt as he ran. He let out a bark of laughter as he ran from her. "Keep whipping me like that, Soph. It's turning me on."

"Argh!" She screamed, throwing the tea towel at his head. He laughed, pulling the tea towel off. Soph looked at him pouting. He grinned walking towards her slowly, predatory. He slid his hand around her hips, to her butt. He smiled and he bent down to kiss her. He said something to her and she giggled, pushing him away.

"They're always screwing around," a voice said from behind me. A ginger haired girl, with heavy freckles rolled her eyes at them. "Are they going out?" I asked, wondering why I hadn't seen them together at school, considering how inseparable they were now.

She shook her head. "Not officially. Like I said they're always screwing around. I'm Lorraine by the way."

"I'm Bella."

He bobbed her head once. "I know." She started towards another room; I followed her not wanting to be left behind with Soph and Begs. She looked around the room. More people were here crowded into different corners, or squashed up on the two sofas. "I hope this is it. It gets rough when she invites the Dickinson boys round. I don't think my dad could take it if I came home with a black eye again," Lorraine said.

I gulped. Fights break out here?

"Don't scare her, Lori. We need the new meat," a feminine voice scolded.

Lorraine scowled. "Don't call me _Lori,_" she hissed. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw was clenched as were her fists. The beautiful blonde haired girl rolled her eyes. "Knock it off; Damien isn't here to see your little tough-girl act."

"Ebonie!" Lorraine hissed. Ebonie laughed. It was a soft tinkering sound. "Bella won't tell anyone that you like Damien. Will you Bella?"

Their focus turned to me. I shifted, before shaking my head quickly.

"See _Lori_, we got you covered."

Ebonie twirled her fingers, in a wave, flipped her long straight blonde hair over her shoulder and walked off, her slim hips swaying seductively. Several heads turned her way, and she seemed to be oblivious to the attention. Or just used to it. Lorraine snorted. "That girl takes drama everywhere. Trust me."

The house slowly filled up with more and more people. Lorraine stayed with me, pointing out various different people that she knew, until a short blonde haired guy came into the room. She sauntered towards him, pulling him down by his collar by an inch so he was level with her. He grinned as she kissed him. I looked away abruptly, feeling like a outsider.

"Here," Soph said, coming out of nowhere. She shoved a drink into my hand. It sloshed over the edges. "Whoopsie," she giggled.

"What is it?" I asked her, shouting over the music.

She shrugged. I went to hand the cup back to her. I had heard horror stories from teenagers who drank. She laughed again. "Loosen up."

I shook my head. There was no way that I was going to drink something without knowing what it was. She sighed. Leaning close to my ear she said, "Look around you Bella. What are these people doing?" I did as she said, looking at the bodies swaying to the beat of the music.

"Dancing?" I asked. She shook her head. "They're having fun. Now drink. Relax. Have _fun._"

She pushed the cup towards my lips and I took a sip, gagging as I swallowed it.

She laughed and sauntered off, dancing through the bodies. I downed the rest emptying the cup. I felt somebody come up behind me. I turned around. Ebonie was there. She smiled at me and took my hand, leading me through the crowd of dancers. They pressed against us, moving their hips around my body, touching my hips and ass as I passed. I moved quickly, trying to keep the hold Ebonie had on me maintained. Just when it started to feel too claustrophobic, we came out the other side. She led us to a table next to the doorway of the room. She grabbed the bottle and pulled out two shot glasses.

She poured two shots of the clear liquid, and handed me one. I hesitantly took it. She grinned and downed her own shot. I copied her, gagging and coughing as the liquorish tasting liquid slid down my throat. She laughed and clapped my arm, taking the glass from my hand. She poured another shot and gave it to me. I downed it, already feeling the effects of the short before. She did another two herself and then dragged me by the wrist to the makeshift dance floor.

"Relax," she mouthed as she started to sway her hips. I tried to mimic her movements, feeling ridiculous. It got easier with the alcohol buzzing through my body and when I felt people around me also moving to the beat. I gave her a surprised smile. She winked at me. A tall guy placed his hands on Ebonies hips. She smiled and winked at me as she started to exaggerate her movements, running a hand up his chest and round his neck. She grinned impishly at me as she turned around, pulling the guys head down, crashing her lips to his. I looked away as they made out.

A hand enclosed around my wrist. Begs. He smiled at me, moving to dance in front of me and block Ebonie from view. I smiled at him, the alcohol giving me the courage to dance more boldly then I would have sober. He gripped my hips loosely, but not in the intimate way he did with Soph.

He bought my body closer to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck so I could pull him down to hear what he was saying. "Have you seen Soph?"

I shook my head. His eyes scanned the crowd. "Found her," he shouted, letting go of my hips. He started to push his way through the dancing bodies. I could see glimpses of Soph as he parted the crowd. She was grinding against a black haired guy. The guy was slightly tanned with a wicked grin. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear, watching Begs approach them. Soph turned her attention to Begs giggling. Begs grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the tanned guy and swiftly punched him in the face. The guy fell to the ground. People moved out of his way. Begs went to reach for him again but Soph had stepped in between them. She rubbed Begs arms. He stepped back from the tanned guy and turned to Soph. She took his hand and led him through the remaining crowd.

"That was _it?" _Lorraine shouted incredulously, walking towards the tanned guy.

I stopped dancing and pushed through the crowd to get to the table where the drinks were. I poured myself a shot and downed it, pouring myself another one. "Mind if I join ya?" A deep voice asked. I whirled around, momentarily losing my balance. He placed a hand on my arm, steadying me. "Knock yourself out," I grinned. His hand brushed my back as he reached around the back of my body for the bottle. I willingly handed it over, downing the liquid that I had already poured into the glass. He poured himself a shit and downed it, slamming the short glass on the table.

"Hey, you're that guys Begs hit."

He smirked at me. "Sure am. The names Dickinson. Toby Dickinson."

I snorted and then realised that it probably wasn't the right thing to do. "Something funny?" He demanded. Remembering what Lorraine had said about the Dickinson's and fighting I shook my head quickly. "No, nothings funny."

"Aw, sweetheart, I'm only messin' wiv ya." He ran a finger down my cheek. "Soph said that she was gonna bring a newbie. I didn't realise that you would be this hot. Newbie's never are. Especially not the last one."

I stared at him in disbelief. Was this guy... hitting on me?

"Wanna dance?"

I nodded and took his hand leading him onto the dance floor. He gripped my hips as we danced. He kept pressing his lips to mine, I kept breaking away. He kissed my neck. I ran my fingers though his hair, it seemed like the right thing to do. His grip tightened in response. It wasn't pleasurable, but it wasn't nasty either. It was... different.

Ebonie bumped my hip as she passed by, giving me a thumbs up and a wink.

"Let's move somewhere else," Toby shouted in my ear. I hesitated but I let him drag me through the crowd. He led me to the stairs. I hung back nervously. "Come on sweetheart."

I followed him up the stairs and along the corridor. He pushed a door open, closing it again instantly. He ran a hand over his cheek, muttering something under his breath before moving onto the next room.

He opened the door and this time pushed it wide open gesturing for me to go in. I slipped past him. He closed the door behind me. I could still hear the music blasting from downstairs. I sat on the bed hesitantly, trying to ignore all the pictures and the frilly bedsheets. It was painfully obvious that this room belonged to Soph's parents. Toby grinned at me. "My boys came through for me tonight."

He sat down next to me on the bed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag filled with white powder. My heart jumped into my throat. He grinned at me. "Wanna forget all ya troubles?"

He opened the bag and pushed a magazine and a picture from the bedside table onto the floor. He tipped some powder out onto the table. I watched mesmerized as he divided the powder into four single lines. He pulled out a tube of some sort from his pocket and used it to snort the powder. He leaned back, grinning lazily. "Good stuff," he muttered. "Want some? Trust me, it's the real deal. My boys only get the best. It'll make you feel good. I promise." I looked at him thinking of how good it would be to be accepted by these people. I could finally have friends here. I wouldn't have to be a outsider anymore.

He held the tube out to me. I got on my knees leaning towards it cautiously. I glanced at him uncertainly. He nodded encouragingly. I took the tube hesitantly, realising it was a grubby rolled up note. I mimicked his movements, snorting the substance. My nose burned and my head hurt suddenly but I didn't say anything. "Good eh?" I nodded in agreement though I couldn't have disagreed more. I sat back against the bed, watching as he snorted another line. He rubbed his nose afterwards. He sat back on his knees grinning. "You feel good yet?"

I nodded grinning widely, it was true I felt happy, and more alive then I had ever felt. I felt a intense desire to take more... I never wanted to stop feeling this way- like I was on top of the world.

He handed the note back to me. "Another one?"

More eagerly this time I approached the substance, lowering the rolled up note to the beginning of the lone line on the table. I snorted it, rubbing my nose like Toby did.

"Good stuff eh?"

I nodded laying down on the bed. He laid down beside me.

"I'll have some more by next weekend."

"Awesome," I grinned. He twisted his head in my direction. I blinked. His head was close to me now, closer than it should have been. He closed his eyes. I closed mine. Lazily he pressed his lips to mine.

"We need to do this again sometime," Toby said, laughing. I laughed along with him, feeling so good in the moment.

It wasn't long until I was living for the weekend, for Soph's parties.

* * *

><p>My head was pounding. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my forehead. I winced as the sound of the hoover outside my room. What Renee didn't seem to get was that it didn't matter how hard she tried to make the house inside she couldn't change the outside; we still lived in a dump and that wasn't going to change. I looked around more awake now, and not able to remember how I actually got home.<p>

I felt a intense craving for something. My mind focused on the white powder that Toby had given me last night, and the feeling it gave me.

I went into the living room. Renee stopped cleaning and tutted playfully. "If those bags underneath your eyes are any indication that must have been one hell of a party last night."

I grunted and sat down on the sofa, pulling my feet up out of the way of Renee hoovering.

"Charlie called last night. He wants to know when he can come over." She glanced around the room anxiously. "I told him in 3 or 4 weeks. Do you think that'll be alright?" she asked nervously. I saw her analysing everything in the room. It suddenly dawned on me, why she was cleaning, why she was so anxious.

"Charlie won't care what the house looks like."

She looked at me frazzled. "I just don't want him to think that I can't look after you. I can- I am."

I nodded not really paying much attention now.

She smiled and sat down next to me. "So did you meet anyone last night? Any boys?"

I gave her a look. "No."

She smiled secretly at me. "What about that boy. The one who picked you up and dropped you off home?"

"He's already seeing someone," I said, realising that it sounded like I was complaining about that fact judging by the sympathetic look Renee gave me. She patted my knee. "Oh, you better get ready, Soph's coming around at 12."

I got up off the sofa rushing into the bathroom. I showered and washed my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo. Getting out the shower, I wrapped a towel around me and walked into my bedroom. I picked out a pair of jeans and my beige coloured jumper.

I dried my hair and tied it up into a high ponytail. Pulling on my shoes, I heard a knock at the door. I quickly rushed to answer it before Renee could.

Soph smiled at me. She looked as pretty as ever, and you couldn't tell that she'd been partying last night, unlike me. I hated to think about how bad the bags underneath my eyes really looked or how pale my skin was.

"You ready to go?"

I nodded.

"Bye Mum!" I shouted. I slammed the door shut behind me. I followed Soph to the car.

"We're meeting Begs at the park," she said as she started to drive.

"What did you think about last night?" She asked.

I smiled at her. "It was pretty awesome."

"I'd say! If the way Toby tells it is right, you two had a hell of a time. You made a real impression on him, you know. He literally insisted I invite you next weekend."

"Really?" I asked, my insides glowing. People actually _wanted _me to join their group. It was a new thing for me.

"Really." She smiled.

I beamed, and then my mind fell onto something else. The white powdery substance. I glanced at Soph wondering if she knew about it. Would she be really angry if she found out?

We pulled into and small road.

We got out and I followed Soph to a small park. There was a small slide and swing set guarded by a small metal fence. The rest of it was grass with a few scattered benches, half of which were severely damaged.

I saw Begs sitting at one of them.

Soph slipped into the seat next to him while I took the seat opposite. "It's nice to see you again Bella," he said. I smiled at him. "You too."

He grinned. "I'm surprised you're here, Toby told me what happened last night. You made quite the impression on him."

I grimaced, blushing at the thought.

"He gave you some then?" Soph asked. He shook his head. "I had to buy it off him. The guy tried to sell me Coke. I told him to fuck off and took the Crack instead," Begs said. "He's the only guy I know that snorts it." My heart rate quickened. They had some of the stuff from last night? A deep craving worked it's way to the surface.

Begs pulled out a small pipe, lit it and inhaled. He breathed out deeply, passing it to Soph. I watched in want and disbelief as she too inhaled deeply. She grinned as she opened her eyes and looked at me. She held the pipe out to me. I took it gingerly, feeling more uncomfortable and unconfident now that I didn't have alcohol in my system. I copied their actions, coughing and spluttering as the smoke went down into my lungs. Begs let out a bark of laughter. "He got you to snort it too?"

I nodded my head, blushing.

He looked thoughtful as I handed him the pipe back. "Though the effects do last longer when it's snorted," he murmured to himself. He inhaled again, blowing the smoke back out. He held it out to me. "Wanna have another go?"

I nodded eagerly, wanting to feel the buzz in my body, wanting to feel as if I could do anything I wanted.

I tried again, this time managing not to cough though it did make my eyes water.

Begs didn't offer it to me again but it didn't matter. Already I could feel the effects of it. The euphoria. The feeling that everything was distant; Marks death, the shit home I had to live in, the shit school I had to attend. But it didn't last long enough. I could feel my heart beat faster in my chest, I felt hot all over. Shifting uncomfortably I noticed Begs staring at me, his pupils dilated. "You ok?" He asked.

I nodded.

"She's fine," Soph said smiling widely. She started talking then, about her next party next weekend. I couldn't be sure if Begs was listening. He nodded along to her chatter, agreeing and disagreeing in the right places but the spaced out look his is eyes said otherwise.

It wasn't until I got home later that day I felt a hunger clawing inside me. I wanted to feel on top of the world again, I wanted to feel like I could do everything and anything. I wanted the pain of losing Mark to go, I wanted the worry of school, and of Beth to disappear. I just wanted to feel _good _again. And there was only one way to do that...

* * *

><p><strong>I hope this wasn't too bad. I'm trying to skip through this bit as fast as possible so we can get to Paul :) <strong>

**I'm not sure when the next update will be, hopefully it'll be sometime this week, if not definately sometime next week. **

**Please review- reviews are inspiration.**

**Thanks for reading. **


End file.
